Who says soccer can't do player comps? Well, no one. But we also rarely do it. Yes, there's an entire Wikipedia page dedicated to the "New Diego Maradona." But that's really just a list of the best ...

Ryan O'Hanlon is a staff writer for ESPN.com. He's also the author of "Net Gains: Inside the Beautiful Game's Analytics Revolution." The beauty of these comps -- when they're not wide of the mark -- ...